Ever walked into a meeting, fully prepared and armed with insights, only to be gripped by a nagging voice whispering, “You don’t really belong here?”
This persistent feeling of self-doubt, often paired with a fear of being exposed as a fraud despite tangible success, is the hallmark of Impostor Syndrome.
Amy, one of my coaching clients, knows this feeling all too well. A senior leader at a major Australian retailer, Amy’s track record was impressive by any standard. She’d driven significant projects to completion, earned widespread respect, and had been promoted to a senior leadership role by people who saw her talent and value.
Yet, despite all the evidence of her capability, Amy often doubted herself. In her new role, she felt surrounded by incredibly intelligent people and couldn’t shake the perception that she was less capable. “I feel like I just got lucky,” she confided to me, “and one day, they’re going to figure it out.” This disconnect between her achievements and her self-perception left Amy constantly questioning her place at the table.
Who experiences impostor syndrome?
Amy’s experience isn’t unique. Approximately 70% of people face impostor syndrome at some point in their lives, regardless of their level of success or industry.
Underrepresented professionals, such as women in STEM or senior leadership, often face additional layers of pressure to prove themselves. For professionals like Amy, moving into senior leadership can heighten impostor thoughts, especially when stepping into spaces where peers appear hyper-competent.
High-pressure industries are hotbeds for impostor syndrome, but it’s important to note that no profession or demographic is immune. Whether it’s societal norms, workplace dynamics, or personal insecurities, impostor syndrome can affect anyone.
Why do we feel this way?
The roots of impostor syndrome are complex, shaped by personal, cultural, and workplace dynamics. Amy’s journey is a testament to how these factors can converge.
Personal factors
- Perfectionism: Amy often felt her work needed to be flawless to be worthy of recognition, adding immense pressure.
- Family expectations: Early in life, she had been labelled “the overachiever,” which ingrained a fear of disappointing others.
- Self-doubt: Despite her success, Amy’s internal narrative was steeped in feelings of inadequacy.
Cultural and social factors
- Stereotypes: As a woman in a senior role, Amy sometimes felt the pressure to overperform in male-dominated spaces.
- Comparison culture: Surrounded by accomplished colleagues, Amy magnified their strengths while downplaying her own.
Workplace dynamics
- High-pressure environments: Senior leadership required constant performance at a high level, leaving little room for self-reflection.
- Lack of feedback: Early in her career, Amy often received validation or constructive feedback, which helped allay her self-doubt. However, as she was promoted into the more senior role, she started receiving this validation much less frequently (a common occurrence) and her self-doubt started running rampant.
Recognising the signs
Impostor syndrome manifests in subtle yet damaging ways. Amy began recognising the signs during our coaching sessions:
- Persistent self-doubt, even in areas where she excelled.
- Fear of being “found out” as less capable than others assumed.
- Overworking to prove her worth, leaving her drained and stressed.
- Downplaying her achievements, attributing success to luck or timing.
- Struggling to accept praise, often deflecting compliments.
These feelings created a vicious cycle: the harder Amy worked to compensate for perceived inadequacies, the more disconnected she felt from her successes.
Practical strategies to overcome impostor syndrome
As Amy learned, overcoming impostor syndrome is a process that requires a blend of mindset shifts and practical actions.
Internal strategies
- Acknowledging impostor thoughts: Amy began naming her self-doubts during coaching sessions, recognising them as a pattern rather than a reflection of reality.
- Celebrating achievements: We created a “wins journal” where Amy listed accomplishments big and small, helping her internalise her value.
- Normalising mistakes: Amy learned to see errors not as evidence of incompetence but as opportunities for growth.
Cognitive approaches
- Challenging limiting beliefs: When Amy caught herself doubting her abilities, she asked, “What evidence supports this thought?” This exercise helped her separate facts from fear.
- Reframing self-talk: With practice, she replaced thoughts like, “I don’t belong here” with affirmations like, “I earned my place at this table.”
- Affirming strengths: By regularly revisiting her contributions to her team’s success, Amy strengthened her confidence.
External strategies
- Seeking mentorship: Amy developed relationships with trusted mentors who validated her skills and offered constructive guidance.
- Building a support network: She joined a leadership group where she connected with peers who understood her struggles, creating a space of mutual empathy and encouragement.
- Requesting feedback: Regular feedback from colleagues helped reinforce her competence and counteract impostor thoughts.
Embrace self-compassion and grow
Impostor syndrome may never completely disappear, but it doesn’t have to define you. As Amy learned, recognising and reframing those thoughts is the first step to reclaiming your confidence.
I know this intimately from my own journey with Impostor Syndrome.
For years, I placed immense pressure on myself to perform, unconsciously tying my self-worth to my achievements. Growing up in a family where intelligence, social skills, and academic performance were highly valued, I internalised the belief that who I was and how well I performed were one and the same. This led me to overprepare, overwork, and fear falling short – habits that, while they drove success, came at a steep cost.
The anxiety this created was unsustainable, eventually contributing to the early signs of burnout. I began to notice the toll it took not only on my mental health but also on my ability to fully show up in my life. Something had to change.
Here’s what helped me:
- Recognising the pattern: I started to notice every time I conflated my self-worth with an outcome, calling it out for what it was.
- Tracing the origins: I did some deep inner work with my coach, and was able to recognise how these beliefs stemmed from early family dynamics – allowing me to contextualise them, instead of letting them define me.
- Acknowledging the costs: I saw how this pressure chipped away at my self-esteem and mental health, while paradoxically undermining my performance through overpreparation and perfectionism.
- Practising self-compassion: I began changing my critical self-talk, replacing messages of inadequacy with reassurance: “You are enough as you are.”
- Radically accepting myself: During this period, I first came across Tara Brach and her best-selling book Radical Acceptance. Doing the exercises in the book helped me accept the insecure part of myself that had always been there underneath my overcompensation strategies and overall drivenness. Over time, I learned to embrace who I was – imperfections and all – rather than basing my self-worth on how much I achieved.
- Recognising the “common humanity” in impostor syndrome: Once I went through the crucible of facing my insecurity and learning to radically accept myself, I started to see how others (like Amy) either hold back or overcompensate to prove their worth. This was a paradigm shift. After that, I started to see how even the most apparently competent and high-performing people in society often have these same self-doubts underneath the “competent” exterior they projected.
This transformation wasn’t linear or easy, but it was life-changing. Today, I show up with greater confidence – not because I never feel doubt, but because I know those doubts don’t define me.
As Amy did, you too can embrace self-compassion and find freedom from impostor syndrome. Take the time to notice your thoughts, reframe your narrative, and lean into the support around you.
Here’s the first step in that journey:
Write down three recent achievements and reflect on what they say about your strengths – not just what you accomplished, but the qualities you brought to the table. Let these moments remind you of your inherent value.
The journey to overcoming impostor syndrome is deeply personal, but it’s also universal. Remember: you are not alone, and you are enough just as you are.
PS:
If this is resonating with you (as I suspect it will be), check out the recent LinkedIn Live that I co-hosted with my colleague Cate Mullins. In the Live, Cate shared insights from her extensive experience working in the legal profession and supporting lawyers to overcome Impostor Syndrome, and I went into more detail about the deeper psychological factors that contribute to it.
PPS:
If you want support unlocking greater self-acceptance and genuine, unshakeable confidence at work, reach out so I can step you through how my 1:1 coaching can help you achieve sustainable peak performance and enhance your performance as a leader.
